God Bless America

God Bless America!

A few days back, I met one of my old friends. This is his story - a story of a Rohit and a Monica, as he told me. Not a story exactly, if you look at it, it's more like an incident that happened that day, the day before the final exam.

(Since I have read Chetan Bhagat recently, would try in his style to narrate the story as if Rohit is telling…)

I am an exceptionally qualified Ph. D. student at a reputed US university with full scholarship and Teaching Assistantship. I have been in USA for almost three years now. Everything that a smart bachelor would do in this land of opportunities, I think I have done it all. Well … at least I used to think so. The tags like ‘Brilliant’, ‘Intelligent’ come with inherent short-comings. Same is true for me. I am the one who likes to solve any difficulty that any student may come up with.

Obviously, I am very popular among all my students … at times other students as well! A few times, the students from other sections of the same course keep an eye on my office hours.

The day was a Thursday, also a reading day. Officially, I did not have any office hours to keep. Alas! So was my fate that on persistent request from all the students, professor asked me to keep the hours opens for those who may request for an appointment. Poor me, I had to send an email to both the classes saying that I am open to meet people with appointment. Within an hour I got 12 emails and equal number of phone calls asking for appointment. A packed session was waiting for me.

Little frustrated, I called everyone at 2:00 PM and rushed to school expecting a long queue at the office door. As expected, most of the students had common issues. It took little less than just 2 hours to finish off everything. Sometimes, it does happen – I get free time. I chose a bottle of Pepsi as my companion and settled on the chair. There was someone else as well about to enter in the frame, but the time has not yet come.

Like any other free guy with internet connection, I thought of orkuting, or chatting for a while, before heading home. Perhaps the things were pretty much pre-decided by God that day. My buddy Ashish also was not there. He is generally online to bug me every now and then. The day fixed with someone else …! Hence he was not there.

He tried buzzing him on yahoo, MSN, and GTalk, but no response. I was thinking about some innovative curse to type, and the phone rang. It was an unfamiliar, but local number. I decided to pick up. It was a girl in my class. As an inherent quality of brilliant boy, I did not know her name; neither did I recognize the voice. She told me that she got my cell number through a fellow classmate! Yeah … dating with ABCD can make you reveal some vital details! ;-) This time it was my contact number. The girl pleaded to come in with her problems and I agreed (inherent kindness … you know!).

Within half an hour she appeared. I knew the girl. Her name was Monica. It was addition to my database. She was stunningly beautiful. She was rich in everything that attracts guys' attention. She had started to show up only towards the end of semester and had come over on all of my last four office hours. Not surprisingly, she was always accompanied by a different guy/s every time I saw her. Perhaps it was first time I saw her alone.

Dear me, little did I know that it was only the beginning. Monica was visibly upset. She sounded low as well. She was extremely worried about her grades on the course. I pulled her performance chart and noticed that she had missed quite a few classes as well as assignments. There was little that could have been done to improve her grade at this eleventh hour, or that's what my kind mind thought. Monica had different opinion about the matter. She asked some simple questions and I gave one line answers:

She: Who posts the Grades?

I: I do.

She: Do you think professor will find out if there was a mistake in posting the grades of a student?

I: That is less than likely.

She: So, if you post a B against my name, would that go unnoticed?

I: Why will I post B? From what I can see, you should be happy if you can get away with a D.

She: I know, but would she know if you post a B?

I: No, she wouldn't. But I am still not getting your point or even the reason for this discussion for that matter.

She: You are either too innocent or too smart. I like both these kind of people. I will come to the point. Should you decide to post a B or higher grade for me, I will do anything for you.

I was shocked; less for realizing, where this all is going, and more because with all my experience with girls, I did not see it coming. I could not imagine Monica will be this bold and direct. After all, in my opinion, she was very cute. And cute girls are not ‘that’ bold. So, just to be sure before reacting to her approach, I further asked:

I (with Smile): I do need many things to be got done, but I really doubt if you can be of any help to me in any of those matters.

(I really did not know cracking jokes could be dangerous)

She: You have no idea what I can and will do for this grade.

Saying this she removed her pull over.

This was now a clear signal # 2. But, I was still persistent. I thought, it's just too hot in here. Relax its nothing like what you think. It can't be. I hate my kindness!

I: I would study hard, if I were you.

She: It's too tough and too late for that. You tell me what do you want from me?

I: I don't know. What do you mean what I want? What will I ever want from you?

This was perhaps the dumbest or the smartest thing I had done in a long time.

She started to remove her T-shirt. How many times some girl removes her T-shirt in front of you without wearing anything under! It was the first time that some girl so much beautiful as Monica was stripping before or should I say for me. I was shaken to the core. Damn …!! Kindness… what kindness??? Heck! In a flash I imagined all the possible outcomes of this situation and was frozen to my chair by only feel of a few of them!

I still remember the night I walked into a strip club for the first and last time in my life. I remember that happy still embarrassed feeling when half a dozen strippers were asking me to go for a lap dance. Non-drinkers and non-smokers generally can’t even dream what I was getting there! I did not know I would experience the same feeling again.

At the same time I did and did not want her to go ahead. Come on yaar …! The world would have been lot better (or perhaps bitter), if there were not any small neck T-shirts! She could not take it off quickly. That sudden motion brought me back to my senses. The good boy awakened after little nap… perhaps a forced one! I moved and moved quickly. I stopped her and pulled the T-Shirt down. Yeah … I did! Now it was her turn to be surprised.

She: What are you doing?

I: (Same was the question in my mind too… what was I doing?) I should ask you what you are doing.

She: You know what I was doing. I want good grades at all cost.

I: What do you think you are? And what do you think I am a prick? Is this what a routine work for you? You should be ashamed of yourself. I think I should report you, but I won't do that. You look to be quite sensible and cultured girl. (Damn … I was lying!!) May be someone has given you some crazy guidance. This is not the solution at all.

She burst into tears. I continued. I was talking for 15 min before she could say a word. She begged for forgiveness and said that she would never repeat this every again. I think perhaps I even won’t speak for such a long time again! I asked if she will be all right leaving alone. She nodded and left. I let her go. I was still staring at her walking away figure. They say the silence could be killing! Ask me … every single particle there was unbearable. Too many scattered thoughts were hitting my head. I was happy and sorry at the same time.

So much advancement, so many facilities, so much freedom! This was what I had thought at least before leaving India. Where is it all going? Sometimes its tough to do the right thing, and this was definitely the toughest right thing I had ever done in my life. When I think back, it's hard for me to even believe what I did. No one would believe that I sent Monica back, (That too with a free philosophical lecture for 15 long minutes) that too, when she was trying pull off her T-shirt in front of me. I am not sure where got all this strength from. Perhaps those were the "Sanskar" I was polished with throughout my life that made all this happen, or the wonderful circle of friends I always had no matter where I went. It is often hard to imagine yourself doing something spot on when the going is tough and sudden, but when the situation demands, good hearted people do survive.

The exam went very smooth the next day. She was sitting in the front row. I avoided looking at her. I did not want to embarrass her, or perhaps myself. Monica did well on final and got an overall D. She came to thank me, but this time with two other guys from the class. Upon little enquiry I found out that the experience I had was not uncommon at all. Few of my Chinese Seniors had taken full advantage of the situation and were very proud of those particular evenings.

I am looking at the piece of paper that explained my duties and responsibilities for the fall semester as TA. One more full packed tough syllabus class, one more set of students. There are 3 girls named Monica in this class! What if every tough class leads to one Rohit – Monica incident? If the answer is yes, then God Bless America!